How i know you re gay coldplay

David: You know how I know you're gay? Who the fuck are you to put me on trial? And you know what? Watch your mouth and help me with the sale.

• Cal: [talking about Trish being a grandma] You should fuck her and then have her send you $12 on your birthday.

• David: You know how I know that you're gay?
• Cal: How?
• David: You like the movie "Maid in Manhattan".
• Cal: You know how I know you're gay?
• David: How?
• Cal: I saw you make a spinach dip in a loaf of sourdough bread once.
• David: You know how I know that you're gay?
• Cal: How?
• David: You have a rainbow bumpersticker on your car that says, "I love it when balls are in my face".
• Cal: That's gay?
• David: [loses his second "Mortal Kombat" match] Goddamn it!
• Cal: I'm ripping your head off right now.

  Did you write this stuff?

• Jay: My girlfriend Jill found *your* speed dating card.
• [raises his eyebrows]
• Andy Stitzer: [Covering] Oh! Yeah... What can I help you with?
• Smart Tech Customer: [points at Jay] Is this your boy?
• Jay: Yeah, nigga, we will both mash you!

  David: You know how I know that you're gay? But now, he see that Jay make the rules at Smart Tech, that I run this bitch, and now he 'bout to bounce!

• Smart Tech Customer: This your boy?
• Jay: Yeah, nigga, that's my boy. Cross-pollinating genres and morphing from a coffeehouse folkie to a pop princess to a dance-hall diva to a Southern belle, the Interlochen grad's sixth album culls a gentle country style, built on feather-light twang.

  He's a little slow, but he got it. I mean, that sounds gay. We fucked dwarves in the ass!

• Smart Tech Customer: Nigga, this dwarf here don't got to be tall to pull a trigger off in somebody face!
• Andy Stitzer: [walks up quickly] Good afternoon! Cal: How? David: You have a rainbow bumper sticker on your car that says, "I love it when balls are in my face." Cal: That's gay?
  

  With Patty Griffin and Tracy Chapman covers this beautifully-nuanced – and bittersweet originals like "Not Enough," "Take that Ride" and "Gold," featuring Dolly Parton – that's hardly a dis. right. And now I'm throwing it at your body.

• [David's character explodes]
• Cal: [shouts] Fuck you!
• David: Aww...

• [about how he knew the prostitute was really a transvestite]
• Andy Stitzer: She had hands as big as Andre the Giant's, and she had an Adam's apple as big as her balls.

• Andy Stitzer: [defending himself from Trish's comments on him riding a bicycle] Einstein rode a bike!
• Trish: He had a wife, who he fucked, by the way!

• Cal: Oh, man, I had a weekend.
• Andy Stitzer: Yeah?
• Cal: We went to Tijuana, Mexico, you know?

  Cal: You know how I know you're gay? Anything.