How to tell if youre gay

Home / gay topics / How to tell if youre gay

Maybe you've got different feelings.

  • You Daydream or Fantasize About Same-Gender Relationships – If your crushes or fantasies consistently involve the same gender, this may be a clue about your sexuality. Create an Event and get friends (read some tips on finding new queer friends here) together to check out a gay bar in your city.

    You don't need anything to validate your feelings.

    • Questions to Ask Yourself

    If you’re still unsure, consider asking yourself:

    • Who do I find myself crushing on? You might learn something new and feel better. Whether you are a man, woman, or another gender, your feelings about your sexuality are valid. Never give up on understanding yourself.

      You may notice yourself getting butterflies or longing for closeness.

      3. So don't fall into the trap of thinking that your clothes, hair or attitude determines your sexuality.

      When looking at the signs you are gay, you might want to ask yourself these questions:1

      • Have I ever been sexually attracted to the same sex?
      • Do I feel strong emotional bonds to the same sex?
      • Am I physically attracted to the same sex?
      • Have I considered having a sexual relationship with someone of the same sex?
      • Have I had sexual same-sex experiences in the past?

      The American Psychological Association defines sexual orientation as an "enduring emotional, romantic, sexual, or affectional" attraction toward another person.

      It's okay to not understand everything right away.

      how to tell if youre gay

      Take charge and make your own! The LBGTQ+ rights movement has made significant progress. Retrieved on 2025, December 29 from https://www.healthyplace.com/gender/gay/how-do-i-know-if-i-am-gay-signs-you-are-gay

    Last Updated: January 13, 2022

    .

    Is it with a man, a woman, or someone else?
  • Do I feel comfortable labeling myself, or do I prefer to stay open about my gender and sexuality?

    It's part of your identity.

  • "You need to have experience to be sure." You don’t need to date or sleep with anyone to know your orientation—your feelings and attractions are valid on their own. If you often feel emotionally disconnected, disinterested in intimacy, or like you’re performing, it could be more than just a bad match.

    4.

    This exploration of gender and sexuality can sometimes feel weird, but it's a natural part of understanding who you are. When it comes down to it, there is no reliable "Am I Gay test", so the only way to know that you are gay (definition of gay) is to look within yourself to determine your own thoughts and feelings towards others of the same sex.

    That fear is often rooted in societal expectations, family values, or internalized pressure.

    And the fact that you’re scared? This feeling of relief can also apply to other LGBTQ+ identities, including lesbian, bi, and pansexual.

    • Common Myths About Being Gay

    There are many misconceptions about being gay. It means you’re starting to explore who you really are, and that’s powerful.

    Let’s talk about some real signs that you might be questioning your sexuality and how to move through that journey with confidence and compassion.

    What Does It Mean to Be Questioning Your Sexuality?

    When you question your sexuality, you actively explore who you feel emotionally, physically, or romantically drawn to, or maybe all three.

    • It doesn’t mean you have to label yourself.
    • It doesn’t mean you’re gay, straight, or anything in between.

    It simply signifies you’re figuring out your sexuality in your own way.

    This can feel confusing, especially if you’ve grown up in a space where straightness was the default.

    And if it does turn out that you are gay, remember that there is nothing wrong with being gay – it is just part of who you are.

    article references

    APA Reference
    Tracy, N. (2022, January 10).